at least SOMEONE laughs at my jokes. it’s me. i laugh at my own jokes.
before blaming others, think: whats the 1 constant in all your failed relationships? its that cursed egyptian amulet why do u even have that
date a boy who reads. or better yet date a 37 year old recent divorcee with a highly diversified stock portfolio who’s looking to feel young again and can treat you to what you deserve
My name is Jamie but you can call me anytime.
Zachary Quinto - Rooster Teeth - Tattoos - It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia - Star Trek - Disney These are a few of my favourite things.
When the dog bites, when the bee stings, when I'm feeling sad, I simply remember my favourite things and then I don't feel so bad.
"i hate when im on a flight & I wake up with a water bottle next 2 me like oh great now i gotta be responsible for this water bottle" - Kanye West