at least SOMEONE laughs at my jokes. it’s me. i laugh at my own jokes.


before blaming others, think: whats the 1 constant in all your failed relationships? its that cursed egyptian amulet why do u even have that


date a boy who reads. or better yet date a 37 year old recent divorcee with a highly diversified stock portfolio who’s looking to feel young again and can treat you to what you deserve

technical difficulties

My name is Jamie but you can call me anytime.
Zachary Quinto - Rooster Teeth - Tattoos - It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia - Star Trek - Disney These are a few of my favourite things.
When the dog bites, when the bee stings, when I'm feeling sad, I simply remember my favourite things and then I don't feel so bad.

"i hate when im on a flight & I wake up with a water bottle next 2 me like oh great now i gotta be responsible for this water bottle" - Kanye West